you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
