I want to have your abortion
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my being single is dangerous.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
