I've blown a few things in my day
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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