it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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