I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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