hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I cut my penus on the lid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
