chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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