It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
