Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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