Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
