I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize