I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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