Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
