fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize