hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
