Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
