UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
