He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
