Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
