I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize