please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize