I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
