Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
