she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy sore nipples Batman
as a side note pls kill me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
