Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
