okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
