i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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