i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
