Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize