i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
