Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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