he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
