You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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