I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
