Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
