this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
