I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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