i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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