He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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