we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
