i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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