I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
