too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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