Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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