I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize