Cold hands, warm shart.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
