I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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