haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
