that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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