Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
