I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
