worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
