you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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