i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
