grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
