I'm drive I can fine osifer
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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