don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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