For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
