I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
