She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize