i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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