How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
