so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
