Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
