Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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