This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
