Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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