Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
